martedì 30 dicembre 2014

Care segnalazioni: orgoglio bisiaco

E grazie alla segnalazione di Nicolò Giraldi e Fulvio Rogantin che ci hanno segnalato la segnalazione, ecco la segnalazione di buona fine e buon principio!
Ocio, la Bisiacaria è in pericolo!





sabato 6 dicembre 2014

San Nicolò vs Babbo Natale: who brings the regals to the triestin mocoloses?

Bon San Nicolò!
In regalo eco de novo el studio speciale su chi porta i regali ai triestini, se San Nicolò o Boba Natale.
Segreto: questo xe un anticipo de Monon Behavior 4, in lavorazion per el 2015. Ma se ciamerà tipo Monon Behavior Pre-Quel o qualcossa de simile.

San Nicolò vs Babbo Natale: who brings the regals to the triestin mocoloses?

DIEGO MANNA
Monon Behavior Research Department


Abstract
In the city of Triest, as in many cities of the world, in december the triestin mocoloses receive some regals. The tradition says that the official regalador is San Nicolò. However, some mocoloses think that it is Babbo Natale to bring them the regals. This study analyzes the differences between the two contendent to make finally chiarezz.
Key words: befana, feriera, ratapalz, ceenghiai, Polska… rivemo!
Introduction
In the city of Triest, from a lot of generations, during the nadaliz festivities the young mocoloses ciap a lot of regals. Traditionally, the popular credence is that these regals are portated by San Nicolò, but there is also an apocrif credence that it’s Babbo Natale who brings the regals. There is also the credence that it’s Little Jesus, but recent researches have dimostrated that he prefers to stay spaparanzated in the Presep, almen in this period, because he has ciolted ferie for his birthday. Also, he’s a little incazated with the third King Magio, who is an old insempiated and every year takes him mirra instead of birra. Last year, adiritur, the second King Magio was malated, so the third substituted him and poor Little Jesus received oro, Vincenzo and mirra. As this Vincenzo was a great scassamaroons, Little Jesus hated 2013 and esclaimed “a saver, fazevo finir per bon el mondo el 21.12.2012”.
There is also the Befana who brings some regals, but that old maranteega brings only oranges, mandarins and other bombons, that are regals of serie B in confront of the zogatols of nadal, so noone have her pel cool.
So the final war is between San Nicolò and Babbo Natale. Who of them brings the regals to the triestin mocoloses? The aim of this study is to put the final word on this diatribe.
Material and methods
To understand who’s the quel of the regals of Triest, we firstly used the solit first person scoionament sampling method (Manna, 2009), simulanding personalment the life of both of them. As we realize that this way was too much scoionant, we used the first person monade reading in cesso sentated sampling method (Manna, 2010), analyzing comodament the informations about the two old men on the highly scientific databases of Wikipedia, Forum Trieste and facebook group “Se stava meio co se stava pezo”. We then assigned triestinity points for each characteristic.
Results
Name
Babbo Natale: 
Babbo Natale, po’.
San Nicolò: San Nicolò, po’.
Triestinity points: both names can be pronunced with the typical triestin cadenz, Babbo Natalje and San Nicoljò. However, Babbo Natale is clearly not dialectal. To be triestin, he would have been called Babo Nadal, or Boba Nadal, or Bobana Dal, or Babo ‘Na Tara, or Boba Nagana, or…
San Nicolò 1 – Babbo Natale 0

Fig. Nadal. Babbo Natale in red with his favorite renn. Pupol by Chiara Gelmini.
Dress code
Babbo Natale: he is vestited in red (fig. Nadal), but many researchers think that in the origin he was green, and became red when he was pagated to make some reclams for the coca-cola.
San Nicolò: he is vestited with a long tunic of spritz color, and always has in his hands a ratapalz.
Triestinity points: it is evident that a triestin would never sell himself to a reclam of coca-cola, but piutost to a reclam of spritz. So, San Nicolò with his bright yellow tunic is the perfect spritz testimonial.
San Nicolò 2 – Babbo Natale 0
House
Babbo Natale: he lives all the year in Polo Nord, cagands himself indoss for the zeema.
San Nicolò: many think that San Nicolò is from Bari, the city. This is a great misunderstanding. Bari is not the city, Bari is the plural of Bar. So, San Nicolò lives all the year giranding all the baretts of Triest, drinking spritzets.
Triestinity points: fè voi ah…
San Nicolò 3 – Babbo Natale 0
Mezz of transport
Babbo Natale: he flies with his slittin sburtated by powerful cornuted renns.
San Nicolò:he hasn’t a slittin. He tried to pimp a boba bob using the cats of the major hospital as renns, but the cats didn’t have pel cool. He tried with dogs, but the dog of Trieste was always sad and never made him the feste neither to him that was his paron, so he send a postcard of protest to Trevisan that told him that the dogs of Trieste like only fiask of wine and no ga pel cool the rest (Lutazzi, 1968). He tried with cocals, so he could svolar as Babbo Natale, but all the cocals were at the Pedoceen and didn’t have pel cool.

Fig. Boboba. San Nicolò and the gnancapelcoolists. Pupol by Chiara Gelmini.
The only animals that spontaneament offer themselves were the ceenghiai, that wanted to make the cocolones to recuperate their rapport with the triestin people always incazated with them. But San Nicolò answered them that the only method to stay cocolones to triestins is that they become immediately parsuts, salams and ombols. Col cren (Fig. Boboba).
Triestinity points: as we are cocolones, we give a point to Babbo Natale, cussì, per cambiar, gnanche pel cool.
San Nicolò 3 – Babbo Natale 1



Fig. Ame. The 1958 locandin of the Babbo Natale route tracking project.
Route
Babbo Natale:
there are many military programs that have tracked the route of the slittin of Babbo Natale (per bon, no ciogo pel cool: NORAD, 1955), from Polo Nord to all the world (Fig. Ame).
San Nicolò: as all respectable triestins, during work San Nicolò is invisible to the radars.
Triestinity points: we would give the point to San nicolò, but he is mo­mentaneament invisible to our radars.
San Nicolò 3 – Babbo Natale 2
Efficiency
Babbo Natale:
 trascuranding some zones of the world and some mocoloses, he brings regals to about 100 million houses in about 31 hours, helped by the fuso orario traveling from east to west. So he has 800 consegns for second and must fly at supersonic speed. With all the regals in the slitin, this will generate a great resistence that will soon incinerate the first pair of renns (Nonciclopedia, 2013). So, all the renns make always a great skagazz to stay behind.
San Nicolò: Triest is the city of the veciones. There’s not so much work to do.
Triestinity points: having a great efficiency is a bad syntom of acute furlanite. Maybe Babbo Natale is lanfur?
San Nicolò 4 – Babbo Natale 2
(Referee advisory: yes, we know. This point parts from the hypothesis that San Nicolò brings the regals in the city of Triest, thing that is not yet dimostrated. But gnanche pel cool, dei. Take a spritz).

Fig. Panocia. A typical regal from Babbo Natale.
Regals
Babbo Natale: in his house in Polo Nord, he works all the year to produce the regals with his aiutants elves (Fig. Panocia).
San Nicolò: he produces nothing, imboscated all the year in his tour of barettes. So, maybe he finally buys the regals last minute, probably from Orvisi (rip).
Triestinity points: working all the year is not compatible with a triestin behavior. Hardly working, panoce… mmm… bad suspects…
San Nicolò 5 – Babbo Natale 2

Regals to cative mocoloses

Babbo Natale: he regals to cative mocoloses carbon. But it’s a fint sweet carbon of zuccher.
San Nicolò: he regals to cative mocoloses pure ranzid carbon with the
controcarbones 100% Ferriera DOC, that he steals of sconton rubanding it from the sconted deposites of the stabiliment.
Triestinity points: unfortunately, Ferriera and Triest is an indissociable binome, tacated with the catrame ciò.
San Nicolò 6 – Babbo Natale 2
Contact call (che tecnico, ah?)
Babbo Natale: he emits the typical vocalization “Oh-oh-oh“, often imitated by some mocoloses, as reported by Povia.
San Nicolò: no one knows his contact call. Maybe : “ciò buta un spritz dei!”.
Triestinity points: dificilment the povianic call “Oh-oh-oh” can be related to the city of Triest. Much better if it was “Ou-ou-ou“, also imitated by affine spirits like Germano Mosconi in his famous vocalization “Ma che ou!“.
San Nicolò 7 – Babbo Natale 2
Canzonet call
Babbo Natale: there is not a famous canzonet correlated to Babbo Natale, or maybe there are trops and now they don’t come us inamente.
San Nicolò: San Nicolò de Bari / la festa dei scolari / se no i ghe fa la festa / ghe taierem la testa
Triestinity points: the canzonet of San Nicolò is chiarament an hymn to fancazzism.
San Nicolò 8 – Babbo Natale 2
The Santa Claus enigma
Santa Claus is the mulon that brings the nadaliz regals in many parts of the world.
Some says he is exactly Babbo Natale, but some says that he is the forest version of San Nicolò. So there is the solit great scagaz of hypothesis.
We have a third version: Santa Claus, in reality, is the sconted name of Edi Kraus, the assessor of “Sviluppo attività economiche” of Triest. So, this tradiction of buying a lot of regals for Nadal is only a sgaious plan of the administration to sell more and to rilanc the economy, ciò.
Triestinity points: they both loses.
San Nicolò 8 – Babbo Natale 2 – Santa Kraus 1
Discussion
The results confirm incontrovertibly that San Nicolò is the man who brings the regals to the triestin mocoloses, pochi longhee, 8-2, ciap and take home. The very interesting thing is that there are a lot of suspicious indizs that seems to demonstrate that Babbo Natale is lanfur, like the great efficiency, the hardly working all year and the mania of regaling panoces. If God is not furlan, maybe Babbo Natale is. We think that probably Babbo Natale is the lanfur helper of San Nicolò, that makes the great part of the job, while San Nicolò works (hahaha, works!) only in Triest.
However, we steal a secret from both. This year the regals more boba will be the booksPolska… rivemo! and Zinque bici, do veci e una galina con do teste, that are in all the bober libraries of Triest. And the Monon Behaviors, obvious.
No, this is not a occult reclam. It is written in grasset. If it was occult, it would have been written in picio e sconto to cazarvela ;)
Conclusion
San Nicolò is the one who brings the regals in Triest. Babbo Natale in the rest of the world. Further studies must be fully finanziated to understand if Babbo Natale is lanfur or not. So we need a lot of money. And a spritz for San nicolò, thanks.
P.s. Yes. There will be a Monon behavior 4 in 2014.
Acknowledgements
We thanks all the mulones that will sustain the Monon Behavior Reseach Department this Christmas with our books. Thank, we love you :)
But also the others dei, we love you uguale.
We thanks the Befana if she will not ciaparsela that we have called her “old maranteega”. Dei, te son bela e cocola, portine qualcossa!
To the third King Magio: “BIRRA!!! BIRRA!!! NOT MIRRA!!! DEI!”
And Chiara Gelmini for her lovely pupols. Babbo Natale is so cocol that for a moment we wanted him to win ;)
References
Lutazzi L. 1968. El can de Trieste. Fiaschi de vin records.
Manna D. 2009. Miramare-Opicina: a preliminary study on the best bicycle way. Monon behavior Vol. 69 No. 90: 9-12. Bianca&Volta edizioni.
Manna D. 2010. Is God a lanfur or not? A mystic research. Tre volte Monon Behavior: 17-22. Bianca&Volta edizioni.
Nonciclopedia. 2013. Dimostrazione dell’inesistenza di Babbo Natale.
NORAD (North American Aerospace Defense Command). 1955. NORAD Tracks Santa.
Mosconi G. 1991. Ah non lo so io. Gaetano & Quel mona che bate la porta editori.
Povia. 2000eciapilo. Quando i bambini fanno Oh. Vorrei esser becco. Ah no, iera diverso el titolo. Bon no me ricordo


giovedì 4 dicembre 2014

Care segnalazioni: l'albero di Natale tipicamente friulano

Eccola.
LA segnalazion sul'albero de Nadal.
MI-TI-CA.
Grazie a Ettore Calandra per la segnalazion dela segnalazion :D


Manlio Cociancich Sindaco subito!


martedì 2 dicembre 2014

Care segnalazioni: il degrado delle 21

"La gente che abita e vive tra via Torino e via Diaz è DISPERATA."
"Musica a palla che questi pseudo gestori hanno nei nostri confronti" Le segnalazioni xe sempre qualcossa de mitico.



Care segnalazioni, la rubrica con le segnalazioni più cool di Trieste.



lunedì 1 dicembre 2014

Trieste città friulana: le quindici regole

Ciò. Sembra proprio che Udine abbia appena superato Trieste nella classifica della qualità della vita.
Longhi e pupoli.

Ma sarà veramente così? Proviamo a immaginare una Trieste sotto il dominio lanfur.
Come cambierebbe la nostra vita? Quali sarebbe il quindicicalogo impostoci dai friulani?

Questo:

  1. Da oggi la lingua ufficiale della città è il marilenghe e sarà insegnata in tutte le scuole, asili nidi compresi. I cagainbraghe che pretenderanno un cambio di pannolino dovranno imparare da subito a chiedere par plasê
  2. Obbligatori anche corsi di dizione per eliminare quel'acentaz tremendo che gavè. 
  3. “Ailo”, “Ulo”, “Ecolo”, “Ecoci” saranno sostituiti inderogabilmente da “Mandi”. 
  4. No se pol dir “No se pol”. Al suo posto subentra “Cumbinin”. 
  5. Fuorilegge anche monadis come “Volentieri”, “No tegnimo”, “No i fa più”, “Gavevimo ma no andava”, “Podessi ordinar ma no savessi se rivassi”, “Saria de dar un cuc in magazin, ma no posso desso” e “La provi in Friul”. 
  6. Gli intercalari “Ciò” e “Dei” andranno sostituiti da un bel bestemmion
  7. Restando in tema: basta con sta bora in scatola. Il nuovo souvenir della città sarà ”Bestemis in scatolutis”. Aprendola, al posto di venir spettinati da un refolo di bora, si sarà travolti dalla voce di Germano Mosconi, cittadino friulano emerito. 
  8. Dio xe furlan, fatevene una ragione. E paga sia oggi che domani. E anche ieri. Egli riceverà inoltre il marchio di “Tipicamente Friulano”, con somma celebrazione nella Cattedrale di San Just. 
  9. Il Tokaji ungherese è satana. Chi sarà sorpreso in suo possesso sarà giustiziato tramite coma etilico irreversibile di Tavernello. 
  10. Tutte le galline con due teste trovate a scorazzare libere, o peggio ancora a svolazzare sopra i coppi di Triest, saranno decapitate di una delle due teste, riportandole così a una forma più in linea con la sacra bandiera del Friul. 
  11. La squadra della Triestina Calcio verrà fatta fallire e che vada a remengo. Ah, ma a questo ci avevate già pensato da soli, bravi. La squadra del vostro cuore da oggi sarà l'Udinese. Tutti i cittadini dovranno recarsi in pellegrinaggio obbligatorio ogni domenica allo stadio al grido di Ale' Udin, vestiti da Zico col cappello di alpino. 
  12. Mikeze e Jakeze saranno sostituiti da Florean e Venturin. 
  13. Il pontone ruzzine Ursus diventerà un ripetitore di Radio Onde Furlane
  14. Basta con le case di riposo, è finita la pacchia per la quale tutti in questa città no vedi l'ora de diventar veci. Verrano trasformate da subito in case di lavoro
  15. Il principe dei simboli del cazzeggio triestino, el tran de Opcina, sarà obbligato a funzionare 366 giorni l'anno senza romper i coioni. 
Il quindicicalogo è tratto dalla maldobria della Trieste furlana de Polska... rivemo! 
Un 'ssai bel libro nonchè ebook ;)
Prossimamente: il quindicicalogo de Udine triestina.