mercoledì 26 febbraio 2014

El carneval de Muja de una volta

Doman taca banda carneval.
El Monon Behavior Research Department, in una ricerca za publicada l'anno scorso, anticipa e riassumi tute le polemiche, perchè semo sienziati e savemo za come che anderà le robe:

“no ma cossa vietato esser imbriaghi, sempre pezo, iera bel co se portavimo le boze de rosso col’arancio de casa de martedi, quel iera el VERO carneval de muja” 
[triestin medio che vedi muja 1 volta l'anno, de martedi de carneval e che col ciaro no la riconosessi]

“ma cossa, voi vegnì solo a far casin pissar per tera spacar auti far longhi e garbar per tuto, stè casa che se divertimo lo stesso”
[mujesan medio che la ga coi triestini]

“bah, per mi xe i muleti de desso che no i sa bever, che i sia mujesani o triestini” 
[trentene medio. Che però finirà per garbar e per butarghela ale mulete imbriaghe]

“una volta gavevimo de meno ma se lo godevimo de più
[vecio medio che no ga capì el tema]

“Anche questo i ne cava/ga cavado/vol cavar”
[vecio nostalgico del'Austria - copyright Bibliotopa]

“Dopo i 30 ani no se pon andar a Muja perchè el fegato no regi più la loro morchia. Se fazo carneval vado a Opcine che se bevi ben o a Monfalcon che xe babe cocole!”
[boba senza età - copyright Sandi Stark]



I NOSTRI LIBRI E GIOCHI:




giovedì 20 febbraio 2014

El dazio del far el mona per no pagar el dazio

Ogi l'oroscopo dei pessi de Internazionale (mio, essendo nato el 4 marzo) disi:
"Dal 2010 al 2012 Eric Garcetti ha lavorato nelle serie televisive The closer e Major crimes, dove interpretava il ruolo del sindaco di Los Angeles. Poi, nel 2013, si è presentato alle elezioni ed è diventato veramente sindaco della città. È uno spettacolare esempio dell’idea di Kurt Vonnegut secondo cui tendiamo a diventare quello che fingiamo di essere. [...]"

Questo me ga fato molto pensar ala veridicità de un modo de dir triestin: far el mona per no pagar el dazio.

Fazendo finta de esser mona, in pratica, no te paghi el dazio. Però secondo Kurt Quel te diventerà mona per bon. E a quel punto no te farà più el mona, perchè te sarà mona, e i mone no riva a far i mone. Quindi ala fine el dazio te tocherà pagarlo. Ciapa.
El modo de dir quindi xe falso. Se te fa el mona, ala fine te pagherà el dazio. E in più te diventerà anche mona per bon.


E dopo me xe vegnudo in mente che ghe xe anche el caso de quei che fa i finti boni. Sempre secondo Kurt Quel, un ala fine a far el finto bon diventerà bon per bon. Bon per bon xe Bon al quadrato. Te ghe zonti el bon che te fazevi finta de esser, e diventa Tre volte bon, che vol dir mona.
Morale: anche a far el finto bon te diventerà mona.

Quindi inutile far finta de esser quel che no se xe dei. Basta con ste false aspirazioni. Imparemo ad acetarse per quel che semo e seguimo el futuro che xe za stado scrito:



P.S. anche el bonbon, se xe bon, xe un bon bonbon, quindi xe tre volte bon, quindi xe mona.




martedì 18 febbraio 2014

Is Renzi the new Berlusconi? A scientific approach

commenti su Berlusconi?
DIEGO MANNA
Monon Behavior Research Department

Abstract
Italy lives in time of grossa crisi and great political scagazz. The last twenty years will be remembered in the history books as the Berlusconian Age. However, with the condann and the espulsion of Silvio from the parlament, this period sembrated finished. But now, a new minacc appear in the Stival's ciel: the new prime minister Renzi. Many person is convinciuted that he will be a new Berlusconi. This study try to make chiarezz on this difficult Renzusconian dilemma.

Key words: commenti su Berlusconi, In Cool Ade, burlasconity, burp, vaseline

Introduction
The last twenty years have been very difficult for the italian political situation. There were some ribaltons and sometime the sinistra even won the elections (addiritur governing for some years!), but the whole period has been segnated by the great influence of Silvio Berlusconi, so in the books it will be ricordated as the period of the Great BALLE (Berlusconian Age Lasted Long Enough).
With the definitiv condann of Berlusconi in one of the migliaias of  processes in which the evil communistic red togas tried to incastrate him and with his seguent espulsion from the parlament, all Italy was convinciuted that this period was finished. No, not all Italy. Only the part of Italy that was stuf of Berlusconi, i.e. the 99%, if we believe in what people say, or circumcirca the 70%, if we believe in what people vote, or circumcirca the 0%, if we believe that people don't have pel cool and prefer to watch the last Balotelli goal.
Now, in february 2014, Italy has a new young prime minister, called Matteo Renzi, who rottamated Civati and Cuperlo at the primarie of the PD, then rottamated Letta, who rottamated Bersani, who rottamated Renzi at the old primarie of the PD, who rottamated Civati and Cuperlo at the primarie of the PD, then rottamated Letta, who rottamated Bersani, who rottamated Renzi at the old primarie of the PD, who rottamated Civati and Cuperlo at the primarie of the PD, then rottamated Letta, who rottamated Bersani, che al mercato per due soldi un topolino comprò (Branduardi, 1968).
Fig. O. Renzusconi in the web
However, a lot of people is convinciuted that Renzi is very similar to Berlusconi and will soon begin a new egocentric age, the RACCO (Renzianic Age Clearly Continuing a Oltranz).
These people begin to search for similitudines between the two and some think addirittur that they're the same person (fig. O). This study want to make chiarezz about all this scagazz and answer to the fondamental domand: is Renzi the new Berlusconi?
This domand is fondamental for all the people who care about the future of Italy more than about the last Balotelli goal, i.e. 0% (We promise we'll be short, because we want to go to see the partid, what pair of maroons all this ciacoles!).
commenti su berlusconi?
Material and Methods
To establish in which measure Renzi is correlated to Berlusconi we used the Chi Quadrato statistical test. The computer asked us "Chi?" and we answered "Berlusconi". Then the computer asked the second "Chi?" and we answered Renzi. Then the computer didn't have us pel cool. We concluded that the Chi Quadrato is a test de chezz.
So we used the more scientifical first person monade reading in cesso sentaded sampling method (Manna, 2010), analysing all the data from the most autoritary press for their commenti su Berlusconi, like Lucignolo, Uomini e Donne, facebook group "Sei di Arcore se..." and facebook page "Forza Dudù".

Results
In the data we analyzed, we found some similitudines between Renzi and Berlusconi. Both of them have a very nice smile and are of good company, they seem muloni de osmiza. Also, in the last days they seem to have stricted a good raport. In addiction, both are bersagliated by the satire (+1 with this paper). Last but not least, both Renzi and Berlusconi seem to have a similar memory capabilities, testimoniated by some famous quotes like "Datemi pubblicamente del pirla se dovessi rifare accordi con Bossi" (Berlusconi, 1998) and "Io al governo non andrò mai senza elezioni" (Renzi, 2014). (About this sentence, some researchers are convinciuted that Renzi's exact words were "Io al governo senza elezioni? Volentieri", intending the triestin meaning of volentieri, i.e. "No". But all the rest of Italy understood that "volentieri" means "yes", so now Renzi has to governate against his real will).
Fig. A. A Goa'uld (cocolated by an olgetine?)
However, it is in the Osteria Alì O'babà e i 40 magnoni that we have found THE very important information: a secret Repart formed by eight soversiv nerd Scientific Investigators, called the RIS-8, is convinciuted that in reality Berlusconi was possesed by a Goa'uld (fig. A), a parassite alien (Stargate, 1994) that controls your mind and lives in your body until this becomes old, and then searches for a new younger body to trasferirs and to control his new mind. This alien was born inside a fresh hell, the planet In Cool Ade, and was called Burlasca 1, or Burlasca-One or Burlascone for friends.
Fig. Cool. Renzi at the Ruota of fortune
This theory says also that all the mediaset quizzes were in reality a coperture for a precise scope: finding a new body with a clever mind for the future traslocation of Burlasca-One.
The RIS-8 team is convinciuted that now Burlasca-One left the old body of Silvio Berlusconi to possess Renzi, that was selected in 1994 at the Ruota of fortune (fig. Cool).
commenti su Berlusconi
Discussion
After several ciacols and wine bicchiers with the RIS-8 team in the Osteria, our best researcher Paul D'Arseh sentenziated that their theory may be correct, pol darse. In fact, all the elements of the story began in 1994: Stargate, the discese of Berlusconi in politic and the partidon of Renzi at the Ruota of fortune. And also the rigor of Baggio, that was a clear infauste presage.
Fig. Bau. Free Berlusconi in free State
So, from 1994 to 2014 Berlusconi was possessed by the Goa'uld Burlasca-One, that was the real colpevol of all the sventures of Silvio. Now Berlusconi is surely free from the control of Burlasca-One, as well proved by his recent behaviors, quiet and serene at home with his morose and his dog Dudù (fig. Bau).
So, the real question that we have to answer to complete this study is: is now the Goa'uld Burlasca-One possessing Renzi?
To understand this, we elaborated an infallible test. We constructed a Burlasca Underbody Rilevator of Presence (BURP), that reveals if a person is possessed by Burlasca-One or not. It is based on the knowledge that Burlasca-One, if exposed to certain stimuli, will always responde with some well known Fixed Action Patterns, FAP (Burlasconi, 2008). Some of these are:

STIMULI - FAP
Presence of militars: Burlasca vocalizes a barzelet about Rosy Bindi and porconates
Presence of a Column and of Merkel: Burlasca hides behind the Column and make "Cucù" to Merkel. Time after, Burlasca will remember this joke as the "Columna invisible", but the fazios communist journalists will report that he said "Culona inkeyable"
Presence of Obama: Burlasca will scream "Mister Obama!" and the Queen Elizabeth will girate her balls
Presence of Obama: Burlasca will indicate him as "tanned"
Presence of Schulz: Burlasca will offer him the role of Kapò. Or of Capo in b
Presence of stranger high potatoes girls: Burlasca will say that they're nipotes of a random foreign president
Presence of Bush: Burlasca will considers des de fleg of iunaitis state nos onli a fleg ov a country, bus is a universal messeig ov fredom ev dimocracy
Presence of europarlamentaries: Burlasca will apostrophe them as "Turisti della democrazia"
Presence of Finlandes: Burlasca will offer them culatello saying that their renna affumicata fa cagar
Presence of non-electors: Burlasca will apostrophe them as synonims of an important leganord politic
Group Institutional Photo: Burlasca will make the cornazzs to the others (fig. Korn)


Fig. Korn. Burlasca-One reaction to the "Group Istitutional Photo" stimuli.
We haven't yet results about this, but we plan to use a lot of BURPs on Renzi for the next months to evaluate his Burlasconity rate. A first important exam will be how many patatons he will choose as ministers.

Conclusion
We have not concluded a zocca. But the days spent in the Osteria Alì O'babà e i 40 magnoni were very divertent and now we have scopert the important theory of the alien Burlasca-One that possessed Berlusconi's mind for 20 years. We now have to finish our work and understand, BURPing a lot, if now Burlasca-One is possessing Renzi's mind. To achieve this goal our important research must be fully finanziated by the government with a lot of eurazzi that we will use sapientement in the Osteria. If the Renzi Government will not finanziate us, this will be a clear conflitto d'interessi and will demonstrate immediately the high Burlasconity rate of Renzi. In this case, we will say Remengo and we will go to the Osteria to watch the last Balotelli goals and key yourselves.

Aknowledgements
We thanks the goa'uld Burlasca-One for the high quantity of quality material he gave for years to the italian satire. We'll miss you. And thanks to the world for all their commenti su Berlusconi.
 
References
Berlusconi S. 1998. Bossi? Boh, sì. Acutil fosforo Edizioni.
Branduardi A. 1976. Alla fiera dell'est no i vendi vaselina.
Burlasconi S. 2008. Chi ghe piasi la figa che tiri una riga, better a Durex than a Dura lex. Ford Escort Ediction.
Manna D. 2010. Tre volte Monon Behavior. Bianca&Volta Edizioni.
Renzi M. 2014. Governo? Volentieri. Acutil fosforo Edizioni.
Stargate. 1994. Aliens, canonazees, mati che spara and robe cussì, dei. Holly&BenjiWood




giovedì 13 febbraio 2014

Guida di San Valentino alla camporella triestina

Regaletto di San Valentino: free release online agrattish for free di un papero del Monon Behavior Ciu, sul tema dei gggiovani innamorati ;)
P.s. se gavè altri camporeling places da segnalar zontè pur, qua xe robe sciementific open sorz!

Carso camporeling: best infrasking places

DIEGO MANNA1 AND ALBERTO KREBEL2
1Monon Behavior Research Department
2BAUL: Bubetz Associated Union and Lasko


Abstract
One of the great problem of the young couples is to find a place where infraskar themselves without problems. In Triest, the mularia uses to go in camporela in a very nice environment, the Carso. However, the excessive cementification and the explosion of ceenghials population are making the life of the young sporcaciones very difficult. In this study we analyze some of the best Carso camporeling places.

Key words: monongamy, courtship, ceenghial, missiade, sardoni launching

Introduction
Recent studies have demonstrated that the evil monongamy is taking advantage against the polygamy and could soon became the most spread sexual strategy in males (Manna, 2009). This could affect in a negative way the typical courtship that the male of Homo sapiens performs to ingroomar a baba of high CTF factor ranking (Burlasconi, 2008).
In Triest, the city of legere and nagane, the courtship is a very particular endemism called sardoni launching. In the last years, sardoni launching evolve a lot and the mulettes lament that there are no more the muli of a volt. Now the typical sardoni launching doesn't last very much because the mulo will scazzars very soon. There are two main tactics of sardoni launching: the first one is performed by mulettis, and consists in sending a friend to ask the mula: “te se missi col mio amico?”. This is a good tactic because, if the answer is no, the friend can ask: “bon, alora te se missi con mi?”. If the answer is no again, the mula is performing an applethrow, or melatiro, and there are not sperance.
The second tactic, performed by cressuted and more scazzated muli, consists in going directly to the girl and ask her: “bon, senza che ndemo tropo per le longhe, te me piasi, te se meti con mi?” (Pase, 1995). A more gentle version of this second tactic is the question: “ma la dama la dà?”. If the sardoni launching goes to a good end, the new couple will have the problem of where infrasking themselves (Ciullo, 1994). The aim of this study is to illustrate the best places for Carso camporelling, as in the last years many boschetts are vanished because of the selvagg cementification, a problem yet affronted by the mulon of the Gluck street (Cel'hainmano, 1966).

Material and methods
To better describe the camporeling places, we used the first plural person dilettament sampling method (Siffredi and Pozzi, 1995), obviously not together, but using the sardoni launching to find voluntaries for our scientific purposes. Obviously we used the first main tactic of sardon launching. As in the mulettes of high CTF ranking the applethrow is very well spread, we have not been able to describe all the places that we wanted. However, we didn't limit our research to the Carso but we explore also other original places in the city.

Results
The best infrasking places that we have found are:
  • Area of Research: very enormous place for camporeling. Attention must be payed for all the scientific virtual nuclear subatomic interspacial biologic parallel-universal deeavoleries that can trasform you in a mutant without mudand.
  • Basoviza's astronomic observatory: if your performance is not going so well, you can still show the stars to the mula in a different manner.
  • Ollivud, on the road to Opcine: if the mula is very romantic she will be really incocalited by the wonderful landscape, so the mulo could give her a palpon and she will not inacorzers.
  • Monte Grisa's sanctuary: particularly indicated for sporcaciones with senses of colp. After the camporeling they can go directly to confess them in the temple, praying that it will not romper itself in tocs before they arrive.
  • Under conconel's antennas: sometimes the male human brain automatically synthonizates on the radio frequencies and the mulo will sing very nice love songs to the mula.
  • Pepi's fienil at Prepoto: very bucolic place, but special attention must be payed to the eventual presences of cows. If the mulo mistakes, the bull will be really incazzated.
  • Three cameenees near Catinara: particularly indicated for muli that go out with karate girls that don't want darghela. If it goes so bad, there is the hospital in proximity.
  • Catinara's cemetery: if things with the karate girl get worse...
  • Servola's Feriera: this place can be used when you have intestinal problem. The spuzz emited by the Feriera can easily cover the spuzz emited by your silent petazzs, and if you unfortunately produce a thunder you can incolpe the sirens that call to the work. Remember that the Feriera recently obtained the A.I.A. (Ambiental Integrated Autorization), so don't be afraid for your health: the odor of its fumere is all natural (probably a particular flower) and also the black polver that you will see over your car is all natural, maybe it is noce moscata or pevere. If in the future the Feriera will not obtain the A.I.A., it will be surely because of the too much scoresing camporelling mularia.
  • Miramare's scoio: just in front of the carambas there is a very romantic great scoio, on which zeema you can rampigart. Thanks to the presence of carambas, this place is very sure and there are not problem of bavosi that watch too much the young couples (Pacciani, 1996).
  • San Giusto's giardinet: it is better if you are dressed in an ancient roman style, so if the police catch you, you can say them that you are actors payed by the comun to recreate the historic landscape.
  •  
Discussion
The triestin Carso seems to be very rich of posts where the camporeling can be practiced. We have elencated some of them, but the best tactic is surely to go with the car without a precise mete and scoprir new places. In this way, you can easily found an osmiza and incareegar the mula that will became more nice n' nacici. This is particularly indicated for the mulo with the karate girl. However, the problem of the continue cementification of the camporeling places is real. On the other side, there are also problems related to the presence of rebelling nature: ceenghials that could rosigate your popi (Sardoni Barcolani Vivi, 2009) (Fig. Cinghia), zecches that could tacate themselves to your popi and cocals that could kamikaze themselves on your popi or that could scagazzate you from the air. So both cement and nature seem to be enemies of the young sporcaciones. Who will save them? Bu, tacate yourself to the tramvay.


Fig. Cinghia. A family of ceenghiai try to rosigate the popi to two young sporcaciones.

Conclusion
Carso camporeling is becaming every day more difficult for young couples, even if at present there are still some good places with a lot of optionals for different esigenzes where infraskars. Principal dangers are the wild cementification and the wild ballbreaking animals. We think that we must be fully financed to continue our work of catalogation of camporeling places, this time without loosing too much time in sardoni launching but utilizing another tactic, more expensive but more efficient for our scientific purposes (Burlasconi, 2009).


Acknowledgements
We thanks a famous local nagana for this peerl of saggezz: “Andar in vacanza portandose drio la morosa xe come andar al'Oktoberfest portandose drio la latina de bira”.

References
Burlasconi S. 2008. Chi ghe piasi la figa che tiri una riga: better a durex than a dura lex. Ford Escort ediction.
Burlasconi S. 2009. Don Camillo e Pappone. Ford Escort ediction.
Cel'hainmano A. 1966. Il mulone della via Gluck. San Remolo festival.
Ciullo F. 1994. Io speriamo che me la chiavo. Supertituli 12: 2-3
Manna D. 2009. Male monogamy: the best sexual strategy for humans? Monon behavior Vol. 69 No. 90: 9-12.
Pacciani P. 1996. Guardavo guar Davo. The diary of the voyer: best places. Touring club.
Pase M. 1995. Pase's romantic guide: lessons from the last romantic mulo restad in Triest. Sardons 23: 12-89.
Sardoni Barcolani Vivi. 2009. Go un cinghial in giardin. Picio ma sbisighin records.
Siffredi R. and Pozzi M. 1995. Amar zocolume a marzo col lume: zo co le zocole! usè l'usel! Amica chips serie 1995.

Bon, e adesso non vi resta che andare a comprare l'osmiza sul mare e regalarlo a tutti!
Se no no troverè più né la camporela né l'osmiza! :P

L'Osmiza sul mare lo trovate in tutte le librerie di Trieste e Bisiacaria a 10 euri.
Oppure comodamente online a questo link.
O anche in formato ebook.




FOLLOW THE WHITE COCAL!

mercoledì 12 febbraio 2014

Monon Behavior in radio ai Bombi Inconsapevoli

Qualche giorno fa il Direttore del Monon Behavior Research Department, Diego Manna, è stato ospite in radio ai Bombi Inconsapevoli, con Maddalena Lubini, Flavio Furian e Massimiliano Maxino Cernecca.
Ecco la registrazione degli interventi!
Tutta la puntata la trovate invece a questo link.





martedì 11 febbraio 2014

The secret of Mone Island

Forse no tuti sa, ma in origine Monkey Island iera un progeto triestin. Questo xe el famoso Segreto de Monkey Island.
In pratica iera le aventure de Gabri Tripcovic, muleto che voleva diventar una temibile tara. E che se inamorava de Ilenia Marzy e per salvarla l'andava verso Mone Island.
Solo che i progetisti ghe ga messo tropo tempo, e savemo come che xe andà a finir. I ne ga lumà el zogo e desso, invece che temibile tara, Gabri xe diventà temibile pirata.
El Monon Behavior Research Department però ga trovà le prove dela triestinità, e desso ghe faremo pupoli a Ron Gilbert. Eco i screenshot originali!





























E ocio, anche el seguito i stava preparando. Presto publicheremo anche quei screenshot. Per adesso un'anticipazion de Mone Island 2: ElCiuck revenge, la storia del fantasma imbriagon che iera cussì ciucco che de matina el pareva un zombie...






mercoledì 5 febbraio 2014

L'autostrada per i mone

Ad Atene, per andar in aereoporto, anzi, in aparechioporto, ghe xe una strada 'ssai ma 'ssai particolare.
Xe l'autostrada per mononi. Monon only. E no se paga, xe agratis.



E vara ti, xe tanti che prova a ciaparla de sconton per sparagnar un pochi de schei.
De cui el famoso modo de dir: far el mona per no pagar el dazio.

Grazie a Gianpaolo Frisan e Nicoletta Mariotti per la fotosegnalazion :)



martedì 4 febbraio 2014

Trieste friulana tipicamente friulana

Trieste, 2030. L'esercito di trattori friulani, dopo un bombardamento con le frecce tricolori, invade il capoluogo giuliano. Jimmy l'americano cercherà di contattare i ribelli e di salvare il mondo (la zona A in pratica). Questa la maldobria della Trieste furlana del futuro, estratta da Polska... rivemo!, il libro di Diego Manna e Michele Zazzara, già pubblicata online su Bora.La.
Ieri sera al Naima Diego Manna e Paolo Stanese hanno dato vita per la prima volta a Ucio e Ciano, i do veci che se le conta in osmiza. Con paruchin, bareta, barba bianca, flaida, zavate e bicer de vin.
Ecco qualche estratto:


 
il quindicicalogo di occupazione lanfur


il test di triestinità per accedere alla base ribelle


el video completo de 22 minuti ciò!




domenica 2 febbraio 2014

Il GTD (Getting Things Done) alla triestina

Ciò, son cussì ulmo de robe che no so gnanca de dove incominciar”.
Tutti, prima o poi, ci saremo trovati in questa situazione. David Allen, manager consultant americano, ha fornito la soluzione al problema con un metodo chiamato Getting things done, GTD per gli amici. Il metodo parte dal presupposto che le persone abbiano la necessità di liberare la mente dall'ansia di dover ricordare tutte le cose che devono ancora fare.
Ecco lo schema elaborato.



Il Monon Behavior Research Department, dopo attenti studi e analisi, ha ritenuto di dover correggere questo metodo per poterlo applicare alla popolazione triestina, che già potrebbe aver difficoltà a trovare la voia di leggere tutto lo schema di prima.
Ecco dunque il GTD alla triestina, che chiameremo SPRITZ.

SPRITZ
Saria Premura Risolver Imediatamente Tante Zizagne

1. “go una marea de robe de far, speta che le scrivo su un foieto, se no me le dimentico”
2. “otimo, desso le xe scrite, posso smemorizarle del zervel”
3. SMEMORIZARLE
4. “dove cachio go messo el foieto???????”
5. “e bon ah. buta un spritz.”


Ovviamente la parte fondamentale è la 3.
P.S. Grazie a Marco Pilia che ci ha fatto scoprire questo famigerato GTD.